the law of syllogism

so i'll admit it, i had a self injury problem/addiction. now i will never live it down because my mother is so worried.
today i had a puffy eye. last night, i was up late at my church small group having a great ol' time. (she came from UTICA!) so my mother jumps to the conclusion that i am sad and hurting my self. here are the facts: i have been having a great school year, i'm a little stressed because of exams, i hit my hand on the little metal thing on the door and it left a large scratch, i got to bed late last night for a good cause (i'm not your scribe!), and i'm F******* tired.
this is my mothers chance to discover the law of syllogism: If Abbey has a puffy eye, then she was crying. If Abbey was crying, then she is cutting. Therefore if Abbey has a puffy eye, she is cutting.
guess who will now be interviewed every day after school to make sure everythings alright? (even though i'm having the time of my life)
sorry to post my frustrations, but i thought it was such a ridiculously funny situation. (i started laughing then got told off for not being serious)

from my old blog on myspace

July 07-
does the rest of the world see me as completely crazy? not that thats a bad thing, im just wondering cuz on saturday my mom said that people keep asking if i take acting classes or something and that made me laugh........but really do i need to stop acting so crazy? or does my love and compassion overide all the stupid things i do? today someone told me that they wanted to take me home cuz i was helping at a wedding, is that the real me? or my creative highs (that are supposedly unhealthy says my phsyciatrist)? when im with my best friend laughing? or when im with my saturday lunch group busting a gut? acting all emo and scaring my friends? or being the good little christian girl who helps in primary?

seriously, think about it, whats the real you? the person you hide from your parents or the person they see?

truelly i think that maybe the real you is a combination that perfects itself with help from those you love, when you get in trouble or witness a death, when you rely on someone and they tell you the right thing or when you make monumental mistakes that impact you forever, when you accomplish something for the first time or fail dismally, or even just have coffee with your best friend in the world..... thats what perfects you, gains and loses, trust and failure, accomplishments and forgiveness when you shouldnt be forgiven. everyone learns from something, someone, or somewhere........to be themselves. i dont think i could servive without about all the people ive ever met... because in some little way everyone ive ever met has impacted my life and taught me something. i wouldnt be here today without so many people, from random passersby to those ive known my whole life to the three awsome peeps i met in the phsyc ward and kyles sis sarah to the eye kandy at the powell pool; everyone, in some little way, has done something to me in some way that has impacted me. thats kind of scary to think about, i mean people are then effected by me and what i do, which effects them so they effect someone else, and so on.......WOW! so i am important!..........kool!!!!

New Years Resolutions and Getting My Ass Kicked.

It's a new year. And first I'd like to share my new year's resolutions:

1. Live as if it's my last year

2. Give up all my addictions

3. Raise money for Ethiopia

4. Do better in Latin

5. Give up my life to Christ, because if my intense emotions were channeled for good, I could probably find world peace in my closet or something

Let me explain that last one. One the way home from our party at the god-parents house (which rocked) I remembered a passage from a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book that has been almost my mantra:

Carmen was bad at loving. She loved too hard.

I know it doesn't sound like much, but it's the only thing that pierces my heart about love, and how to love. It occurred to me that if I stopped the crusade for drama and love and all that, then I could use it for good, for God. I really hope and pray I can do that.

Now, for getting my ass kicked.

As we are watching the after new years thing with Ryan Seacrest and the Black Eyed Peas and all that jazz, we see some male dancers on stage and one of my 20 something friends says, "Oh, I hope that's not a stripper." I, of course, disagree and hope for a stripper... another of my 20 something friends says I better not be boy-crazy yet, because if I get in trouble she and many others would kick my ass. I'm not going to go into how my ass probably needs major kicking, which it does, I'll admit it.

No, I want to touch on the fact that I have those people. I love that. I almost just want to take advantage of that, because I'm one of those people who likes tough love. I won't admit it to your face, but I do. When I got 2 days of in-school, I was actually sorry. That made me feel clean again. Because I've messed up enough to know that if I don't get in real trouble, I won't stop. Which is a horrible cripple on my part. But the more I think about it, the more I love the idea of tough love. It makes so much more sense to me. Maybe that's because I have a thick skull. Or maybe I like it because it means someone gives a crap.

But that just goes back to loving too hard. I want someone to love me hard. Not in the dirty way, but in the 'lock you in the closet so you can't hurt yourself' way that Josh likes to pretend he's going to use on his daughter. I mean, if there was anything wrong with me, which there isn't right now. But I can't promise anything.

On a last note, I think I need to come out and say something that occurred to me tonight (because my mind just started having epiphanies tonight/this morning); this blog is safer than my own journal. Because my father know nothing about it, I believe, and that's why I speak freely.

Question of the Day: What do you think about tough love?