phoenix feathers
falling down
phoenix feathers
touch the ground
phoenix feathers
turn to ash
phoenix feathers
forget the past
living life
beyond before
the fall of nations
prophetic core
remaining still
lifeless world
standing fast
daggers hurled
carry me
do You exist?
my phoenix feathers
can't resist
we will discover
what's the truth
let us now
find the proof
phoenix feathers
like the wind
times gone by
things have been
remember me
remember you
remember those
told you true
live a life
beyond times past
how will i
like you, stand fast?
phoenix feathers
my old mistakes
destroyed past
retaliates
phoenix feathers
hold me back
shapes the way
i react
and feel
and do
understand?
do you?
or do you have
phoenix feathers
like me?
color that never weathers?
phoenix feathers
falling down
phoenix feathers
touch the ground
phoenix feathers
turn to ash
phoenix feathers
PLEASE forget the past
25.12.08
23.11.08
my bio
hi, i'm abbey.
i figured i should start this blog with just introducing myself, cuz then i can sound coherent and not have to explain everything all the time, but just put a link to this blog.
anyways......
i am 13, i live in powell ohio, i have parents that are together (still not sure if thats a good thing), no sibilings, i go to tree of life christian school, i go to vineyard church of columbus and the 'walk it out' small group. i beacame a christian on june 19, 2008 and mark all spiritual experiences by anklets, i have three: 1 for the whole abstanence pledge, 1 for calling Jesus 'daddy', and (the most important 1) an anklet from the night accepted jesus christ as my savior. all of these things happened on the 19th of the month, so my favorite number is now 19.
how i became a christian is a funny/sad/ironic story: in my sixth grade year i attempted suicide. i took too many pills, cut myself, brooded over death, listened to depressing music, the whole emo shebang. i sent notes to a friend/god brother, hinting at my issues (yes underground hippie, you were, infact, a tool) and (after he cracked) ended up in the osu psych ward. while i was there i met this guy who went to tree, he told me about his school and jesus.
lets rewind a second. my parents are christians. i went to an adventist school (you can google it) and had gone to church my whole life, but i had never really known God. if i had ever felt anything, i dismissed it because i knew no one would care. so this guy telling me he was going to recover because of his 'savior' was just screwwing with my mind. he was only in 8th grade at the time!
anyway, i kept in touch with him after our little suicidal posse left the nut house and he invited me to follow his sister at school and see if i wanted to go there (cuz my parents final understood i hated my school), so the day after pirates of the carribean 3 came out (i saw a midnight showing!!!!) i followed her. i fell in love with the school.
over the summer i went to spirit song, a christian festival in ohio, and experienced god for the first time. hawk nelson played, and i nearly fell apart when they played zero. then later that afternoon josh finklea spoke, it was moving and i went to talk to im afterwards. for some reason this event stirred something in my heart: when i talked to him he wanted to give me his website (because, as i explained to him, tylenol had messed up my memory, that or my medicine) and this guy standing nearby gave me a piece of paper. don't ask me why this was significant, i don't know. i think it has to do with knowing that people have compassion. this random love was new to me. another man just struck a conversation with me while i was in line for something. i told him things about myself that i wouldn't tell my parents or people i had known all my life. he understood, and suggested that i find a new church, he said he'd be praying for me.
when i started at tree, everything was mosly hunky dory. sure, i didn't have many friends, but nothing bad happened. sometime during the year the youth pastor at vineyard columbus. i talked to him afterwards, and he invited me to his church. i tried to persuade my parents,, but to no avail. around that time i took up cutting again. my legs still bear the scars. the night of the big snow storm was the night it all blew up. my friend from the phsych ward's sister and i had become good friends, i emailed her telling her i was cutting. she went ballistic and called the police on me, so my parents had to deal with that, then i come to find out that they knew all along, because my father had been reading my journal!!! what made this night worse was that i had finally persuaded them to let me go to vineyard. the next week i went to vineyard for the first time and stopped cutting.
vineyard had a youth retreat, oasis, later that month that i went to. just to make it short and sweet, it did not go well. if you really want to know what happened, email me, cuz that is something i do not share openly over the internet.
the funny thing is that even though i was really shook up after oasis i still wanted to go to vineyard. over this last summer i went to vineyard camp and gave my life to god on one of the last days.
i'm not perfect. far from it. trust my close friends on that, but i love god, and want to make a difference in the world.
i figured i should start this blog with just introducing myself, cuz then i can sound coherent and not have to explain everything all the time, but just put a link to this blog.
anyways......
i am 13, i live in powell ohio, i have parents that are together (still not sure if thats a good thing), no sibilings, i go to tree of life christian school, i go to vineyard church of columbus and the 'walk it out' small group. i beacame a christian on june 19, 2008 and mark all spiritual experiences by anklets, i have three: 1 for the whole abstanence pledge, 1 for calling Jesus 'daddy', and (the most important 1) an anklet from the night accepted jesus christ as my savior. all of these things happened on the 19th of the month, so my favorite number is now 19.
how i became a christian is a funny/sad/ironic story: in my sixth grade year i attempted suicide. i took too many pills, cut myself, brooded over death, listened to depressing music, the whole emo shebang. i sent notes to a friend/god brother, hinting at my issues (yes underground hippie, you were, infact, a tool) and (after he cracked) ended up in the osu psych ward. while i was there i met this guy who went to tree, he told me about his school and jesus.
lets rewind a second. my parents are christians. i went to an adventist school (you can google it) and had gone to church my whole life, but i had never really known God. if i had ever felt anything, i dismissed it because i knew no one would care. so this guy telling me he was going to recover because of his 'savior' was just screwwing with my mind. he was only in 8th grade at the time!
anyway, i kept in touch with him after our little suicidal posse left the nut house and he invited me to follow his sister at school and see if i wanted to go there (cuz my parents final understood i hated my school), so the day after pirates of the carribean 3 came out (i saw a midnight showing!!!!) i followed her. i fell in love with the school.
over the summer i went to spirit song, a christian festival in ohio, and experienced god for the first time. hawk nelson played, and i nearly fell apart when they played zero. then later that afternoon josh finklea spoke, it was moving and i went to talk to im afterwards. for some reason this event stirred something in my heart: when i talked to him he wanted to give me his website (because, as i explained to him, tylenol had messed up my memory, that or my medicine) and this guy standing nearby gave me a piece of paper. don't ask me why this was significant, i don't know. i think it has to do with knowing that people have compassion. this random love was new to me. another man just struck a conversation with me while i was in line for something. i told him things about myself that i wouldn't tell my parents or people i had known all my life. he understood, and suggested that i find a new church, he said he'd be praying for me.
when i started at tree, everything was mosly hunky dory. sure, i didn't have many friends, but nothing bad happened. sometime during the year the youth pastor at vineyard columbus. i talked to him afterwards, and he invited me to his church. i tried to persuade my parents,, but to no avail. around that time i took up cutting again. my legs still bear the scars. the night of the big snow storm was the night it all blew up. my friend from the phsych ward's sister and i had become good friends, i emailed her telling her i was cutting. she went ballistic and called the police on me, so my parents had to deal with that, then i come to find out that they knew all along, because my father had been reading my journal!!! what made this night worse was that i had finally persuaded them to let me go to vineyard. the next week i went to vineyard for the first time and stopped cutting.
vineyard had a youth retreat, oasis, later that month that i went to. just to make it short and sweet, it did not go well. if you really want to know what happened, email me, cuz that is something i do not share openly over the internet.
the funny thing is that even though i was really shook up after oasis i still wanted to go to vineyard. over this last summer i went to vineyard camp and gave my life to god on one of the last days.
i'm not perfect. far from it. trust my close friends on that, but i love god, and want to make a difference in the world.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)